A Candidate He Would Have Been

Could there be a song like “Sana Dalawa Ang Puso Ko” and “Isang Linggong Pag-ibig”, but for those naman na na-fall in love agad?

Is it possible to fall in love on someone or something for just isang araw?

Hmmm…

Wala lang... It just came to my thought na baka nga may song for those in such scenario.

I did fell in love with this nice guy from our client’s office. He's not gwapo but he seemed masipag and responsible. You know naman with my age now, I need someone that is really presentable to my Mommy. Well, up to now, hindi pa rin ako sigurado kung love nga ba ‘yun o I need to change my glasses na. Whatever that is, wala rin naman akong napala. Kahit first base man lang I didn't make it. Whatever that means. He was just there in a not so right time. Siguro I made convince myself na siya na nga. Thinking that we are of the same situation, (almost) the same principles, almost the same birthday and pareho kaming mahilig sa mga kids! But here I am still getting hurt or affected pa rin kapag I get to hear that he ask this girl out, or harap-harapan siyang nakikipag-flirt-tan sa ibang babae samantalang I'm just sitting there in his back seat. Oh, and for the record that he's doing that, alam n'ya that I kinda like him.

I perhaps created a fictional world for me to enjoy. I convinced myself that I am masaya around this guy being my knight in shining armor and me as the princess in distress, na nakakulong in the tower. At ngayon that the tower starts to make guho na or better yet, I discovered na it has no lock after all. I pretty much can just open the door and go down the stairs! Well, it is me who should destroy what I built, right?

It’s no fairy tale, nor a happy ending... as always.

Maglumandi s’ya kung kanino. I lived a life that is quite peaceful before i got to know him, why not ngayon di ba?

Bitter Ocampo, me?! Sabi sa akin ng friends ko. Bitter na kung bitter. Napahiya ako e, disappointed. Ang plastic ko naman if I make smiles pa ako di ba? May mga moments pa rin na tanga at gaga pa rin ako sa kanya. Lalo na I make sungit moments din. Let me recover naman. As much as I wanted na sana it would be just one time vomiting na lang o parang I make fart na lang tapos wala na yung tummy ache ko, but it's not just like that e! Somehow may leftover pa ring maiiwan di ba? May konting natitira pa rin sa body system ko. Pero in due time, malilinis na rin. Sana there are medicines like Diatabs o Kremil-S na gamot para sa isang dignified recovery. (Hmmm... endorsement!?)

Kahit papano, I feel that I am recovering naman. Bumabawi na. Sabi nga it's fast naman daw ako mag-bounce back. Huh? Does that mean I am getting fat?!? Hahaha! Fine! Mataba na kung mataba, papayat din ako noh. Dr. Vicky Belo? Hellow? Anyway, balik sa first question: Is is possible to fall in love in the most shortest time? Kababawan di ba? Pero siguro, I just admire him lang talaga. Oo nga, I used this poor kid perhaps to get over that man in the other office. I used him in the sense that I didn’t hurt anyone naman… bad ‘yun! ‘Yoko makarma noh. Door to door na daw today and next day delivery na kaya ang karma! Scary!

Nakakatuwa lang. He helps me in a way na maka-recover or ma-divert ang mind ko. But it's not really possible nga! Why?

1.) Di ko naman talaga siya type. Way out of the Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal at Collin Farrel ideology ko. Don't make kontra na, pangarap nga eh. It's free. Di ko kayo pinakikialaman ha?!

2.) I am old. Really OLD. And just the other day, I helped him out pa yata to realize na ang bata pa pala n’ya. Wow. Like I'm his mother? I never dream of being a cradle snatcher, nor be in a May-December affair. Uso na nga daw ‘yun, but then again, ayaw ko nang sumasabay sa mga uso. EVER.

3.) May GF siya. It’s a big deal for me. Although minsan may evilness making whisper to me with kasamaan na once in my life, I’d be an official mistress or destroy a relationship. Kaya ko ba like 'yung song na "Lips of an angel"? Pero hindi ko talaga kaya. As in. Lalo kapag he makes diin pa na “mahal na mahal” n’ya 'yung girl, wish ko ako 'yung girl!

In fairness, bibigyan ko na lang ng award ‘yung batang ‘yun. I hope true nga lahat nung pinapakita n’ya. His girlfriend would have been very lucky. What more kung magiging wife na n’ya.

Timing was good siguro, in helping me get over the other one. But the scenario is quite bad, and the person? Lalo pa. Kataon lang, everyday I get to see him, seatmate ko pa, almost everyday we go home sabay. Pero hindi rin. Nah. Hindi ko kaya. Ako ang writer ng buhay ko. This is not a new chapter. Corny.

Nagkataon lang nga siguro.

If I may say this, it’s the wrong man, at a wrong place and definitely a wrong time.

And there’s no such thing as falling for a day or even fell for a day. Nagkataon lang... uulitin ko pa ulit... nagkataon lang. Pero kung pag-iisipan. Imbento lang e. Over analyzed.

As in OA.

Snapped back to reality, dear!

And besides, ayoko sa laging late.

Flared Up

Oh, yes.

I SNAPPED...

...in bold and all caps.

Why? Because of such brilliant people surrounding me! Pertaining to suppliers and anyone in relation to them.

Semi-snap incident no. 1:
Client called and talked to our AE. She relayed the message to me that our file can’t be opened by the client’s supplier?

WHAT? It’s already Adobe Illustrator 10 for Christ’s sakes. Nowadays, we use CS3… that version 13. They tell me they can’t open a file saved 2 versions lower?!? Then they “suggested” to convert the file in Corel. Punyeta! Who uses such program now. It’s soooo centuries ago. My boss-friend almost snapped too. Then our AE came back to me, the CD where the file was saved (it’s them who saved it, since we submitted the final artwork (FA) via email because they were in a such “hurry”) has scratches! Wow! Such brilliance. We get to be blamed for their carelessness and stupidity!

I pray that if stupidity is a disease, it isn’t contagious!

Major snap incident no. 2:
It's 4:00 PM on a Friday. They call up to tell me to adjust our file because the so-called red in the file is intense and can't be adjusted.

What red? It's a pink background for crying out loud! And it's a subdued pink. How am I suppose to tone down the red there when I can't see any fucking red in the file.

ARGH.

That was the end of my patience… for the week. I made a decision to shut off my mobile phone. Call all they want, I wouldn’t care. My boss-friend might take over my duties or worse get mad at me but, I’m sorry. This time I have to set some footings.

Weekends are sacred. It’s my weekend. MY weekend alone.

Client Quotes

Nakakalokah naman at parang roller coaster nga ang life namin. Namin, as in ng mga teammates ko. Mas exciting pa nga if we ride na lang the real roller coaster than what this really “nice” client of ours is doing to us.

I won’t name names… I understand my boss why he can not make withdrawal the team pa from the client pero we are now making handa na if ever that day happens. Well, we are handa na naman specially me but it’s just that… hay… I am pagod na rin at wala ng gana. Sana in eating din I don’t have gana but the stress is making me eat a lot pa. Kainis rin!

Anyway, bago pa ma-lost ang thoughts ko, let me share na lang some of the quotes nila na minsan nakakatuwa. Nakakatuwa na silang patayin pero we make pigil na lang ourselves dahil it’s not worth it. Like my hands will be bahid with blood… their blood pa na malansa! Eiw!

So, here’s some of their quotes or the sense of what they are making sabi or requesting to us:

• “… cute but edgy”

Ok, I know cuteness and being edgy but making them sama… it’s like asking me to date Robin Padilla and Alvin Patrimonio na sabay! It’s 2 different worlds… I know I might be OA at times but I am not schizo as far as I know, ha?

• “It’s good/nice na BUT...”

As far as I know I made sunod na on what they said in the first meeting. When they said na, it’s a sign na we’ll still be seeing each other again in the same lugar and time for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th… at swerte ako if till 5th revision lang. It’s an implication that s/he wanted to make lagay some “legacy” on that project we are working at. The last say on everything.

• “Can we move the photo farther left? Here, I made a layout in Powerpoint…”

Micromanagement is that you making hinga on my neck? Here’s the mouse na oh, you want to take it?

• “Logo is too plain. Why don’t we put a busy/fun/dynamic background…like there’s a movement”

Hello? Branding… dynamic? We are making gawa a tarp lang not a TV commercial… movement?!

• “Palitan n’yo na lang ang kulay… dagdagan n’yo na lang ng braso…”

If Dra. Vicky Belo can make me payat and puti… that’s easy but making magic is not always possible. Even God needs to get tadyang from Adam to make gawa Eve. Kailangan may source. San ako kukuha ng braso na ilalagay sa photo kung wala naman talagang arm yung shot!? My Gahd!

Sometimes it’s nakakatawa pa but when you have lots to do, ay! Hindi na s’ya cute. If not for the reputation of my team, perhaps at least nasabunutan ko na sila. But I know God is good naman and he makes pala those who are tortured and made parusa those who are making api to us. Karma is there. I just hope I can bare it before I made patol to them na.

Hay. I’m having breakouts na.

ARGH!