Half-half Situations (no.2)

Yesterday was my birthday.

Typical day, except that I did went to church after missing a couple of years ago doing so. And I have a meeting the whole day today.

The postponed Tuesday meeting supposedly, that’s to our madam president… politics, don’t ask!

My VBF told me that he knows it’s hard to make a happy day because I just came from a flu (which he tells me is psychosomatic due to stress and aging… wah? I love him for being so honest at times) so the day didn’t end without asking a few dear friends to join me for a couple of drinks…

But before that… we had to attend to our “work” first… though my mind is kind of “slipping” yesterday. Hehehe. Evil.

Still have a sore thumb from answering quite a few SMS Ü Makes this day really different. Plus a few hugs and kisses here and there from people who knew and just knew about it.

My office-housemates gave me a hearty feast… Ria cooked my now-favorite Stroganoff pasta, bought me my now-favorite Dulce de Leche ice cream and finally, after months of craving it, I get to buy that Sans Rival like Torte cake (which I can’t ever remember the name) from Aristocrat Bakeshop.

Thanks, Mommy Ria! Mmmmwwwuuuaaah!

And off to drink… despite the fact that I am taking antibiotics… I’ll just restart taking them! (Sorry, Nanay… won’t hurt if you don’t know… hehehe)

Went out with Myles, Rio (both my colleagues and friends) and a few new friends like Brian (who is celebrating his day today… Happy Birthday!) with Dianne and Cris.

They found me “quiet” lost night… hahaha! I am just savoring such time like that.

Happy lang ako… thought the day would end nothing lang. Well, it wasn’t nothing naman…

A few laughs… like never since Myles’ that giggly and happy since our college drinking spree. He was even teased by Brian that he should go out more often. Hehehe… we work like stallions (take note: not horses but STALLIONS!!!) chance like this comes… hmmm… rare?

A few chats…
Some smoked… cigarettes… hehehe… we’re clean :p

The night (and the eve of 26th) was almost perfect… well, too perfect until…

BAM!

Yup! Some people just know how to ruin someone’s day. My colleagues know…

Oh well… that’s life.

And yes, I am 29.

Half and Half

No, it’s not that milk or creamer that you use to add that extra taste on you coffee or an ingredient when you bake…

I wish it was as simple as those “ingredients”… at least it has some purpose.

Purpose… lately I have been questioning myself (and others, indirectly) what I am in terms of purpose.

Am I just that unfortunate that things are not working out well in my favor? Let me enumerate just some of my (mis)fortunes…

1.) The battery of my Powerbook gave up on me. Yes! Without any warning it just won’t charge! At this very time that I have quite some trouble in my finances. What a timing!

2.) My VBF and dear friend is leaving for just a break. He deserves it, I know!!! But a month may not sound long but for me IT IS. And USA is a far, far AWAY land ☹

3.) I feel useless… I have not contributed any brilliant nor any useful idea to my team, our client… and I aim to be a “servant” to the world? Wha…?

4.) Mood swings is occurring quite often. Extremities of emotions… Is it a pre-birthday syndrome that I noticed happening yearly since my 18th birthday?

5.) The “Yin-Yang” moment: I am very happy at one moment then I’ll realize it will be taken back by a bad news or a scene stealer or just feel down and sad afterwards. Wow! So nice…

6.) Stuck in a moment no.1: Wanting to go out to take a breather… you are to explode or just to avoid another angry outburst but you simply can’t –– because you don’t have enough money to “free” yourself temporarily.

7.) Stuck in a moment no.2: Immediate or long have been planned date or just meeting a friend… then BAM! Cancel it… bad weather, no cab… or much worse, due to work.

8.) Upgraded my OS… then iTunes will tell you that you’re iPod mini is “corrupted”? WHATTHA…?!

Those are just a few… had even a time I started questioning the higher “authority” up there. Is He testing me because I am not a solid advocate and don’t strictly practice His teachings?

Doubts were undeniably eating me up…

Rules…
Gut feelings…
Personal satisfactions…
Selfless actions…

Despite the misfortunes I can’t deny that somehow I was happy some way or another. I was denying its source due to fear that it will be taken away like those other “happiness”. There was some grin stuck on my face the past weeks. I can’t deny this guy did add up some “reason” for me to get up and hoped that the day would end if not perfect at least good enough.

Unknown to him, he cleared out most of those dark clouds forming in my head. I guess we reminded each other, joked about it and talked on who has a worst life and laughed it out over a few booze and meals. Until it has to be cut off…

It was too good to be true…

So much for being little Miss Honesty… thank you, destiny for making me an ass of my own self!

Do I always have to do some paying back every time I am happy or satisfied? When will it not be taken away? When will it be WHOLE? When will it be just for me, alone?


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Image borrowed from Gettyimages.com

Battle-neck?

My… my… my…

Would they change their perception and treatment on me and my colleagues if we’re a registered agency?




Hmmm…

I wonder….

Still Sweet

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

And I was hoping to be bitter (sweet) DARK CHOCOLATE!

Argh.