Compromise

I always wanted to dwell on this such “meaningful” word –– compromise. Let’s start from what Mr. Encarta is saying:

com•pro•mise n

1. a settlement of a dispute in which two or more sides agree to accept less than they originally wanted ← considered to be better-than-nothing-at-all

2. something that somebody accepts because what was wanted is unattainable ← hard to accept but TRUE

3. exposure to danger or disgrace ← TSK! TSK! TSK!

Need I say more?

I say it’s like selling your soul to the devil –– well, almost. The judgment now is how well you “redeem” yourself when you’ve made your deal. Hmmm… interesting.

The term “better-than-nothing” is quite degrading in some way or another. I, myself have been in the disposition of “compromising” for certain reasons:

1. giving in to get the “order” you wanted… with somehow a gratification behind our heads that we are “in control” but actually it was beyond our duties or line of work. More of spreading your conquered territory by means of “goodwill”… almost giving a service for free para mabango ang pangalan


2. just to finish or end it, may it be a conversation, debate or a project… ”Sundin na lang para matapos na!” (trans. Do what they wanted so it’ll be done and over with!) On our line of work, at times, we have to do the compromising specially if the other party is quite hard-headed and narrow-minded. Thank God, for people (and clients!) that are unbiased and objective thinkers. You all God’s gifts to us!

*clasp-hands, saying* Thank you, thank you so much!


3. you get something out of it, if not immediate at least in the days to come. This may sound uncertain but think of it like when you place money in the bank to save, you expect an interest from it. This is almost like no. 1 but you expect a gain than a loss.

But for how long shall you hold the thought of compromising? The giving in to others will and against your principle?

1. as long as it will save my job and our company
2. until I can hold my sanity and my conscience won’t bother me
3. as far as money will talk

And that, folks, is why conceivably I saw these words inside that word compromise:
• Promise… of completion and fullfillment
• More… projects to come
• Core… of it all is earning
• Sore… is temporary when goal is attained
• Mime… acts it out, no talks no debates just works on it
• Some… accomplishments, some punishments
• Come… more projects
• Rope… to use when you can’t take it anymore (kidding!)
• Spine… backbone to all of this… to gain, to win, to obtain, to earn

…. just to name a few.

And I thought I'm a Grouch...

Perhaps because I LOOOOVEEE to eat (specially sweets!) that's why I am...

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

And the starting word... misunderstood... P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

Being Gay

Let us start from the word itself… GAY, according to Encarta World English Dictionary (and the no.1 definition) is an adjective that pertains to homosexual in sexual orientation. For all we know, it is only in this later decade that this definition became numero uno for the word’s definition. Being gay pertains to merriment, light-heartedness, having a carefree spirit or simply being happy.

But can a gay person be really happy?

I proudly claim that I am a fag hag. I encountered that term a couple of years ago when I met Mike. I know him before I had my menstruation. He was still straight (I think) way back then when he used to sleepover in our place in Bulacan. He’s one of my brother’s college friends. He came out when he decided to reside and work in the US. He openly told me that he’s gay. I told him, I already know (my brother told me) and I have no problem with that. Like my brother, I am surrounded by gay male friends and I am exposed to gay females during my high school days (those “on” relationships–female to female). Then he told me, I knew you’ll be a fag hag ever since you’re a little girl! Fag hag… I never forgot that term from that day on.

Mike is not the only gay person I knew who admitted his sexuality personally to me. Since I am not prejudice and respected them, one even joked that I have this invisible signage over me saying I am a fag hag, come to me and I’ll be your friend! Let’s just say I grew up with parlor gays around me. My mom raised me and my siblings as a beautician. Yup! She used to own a beauty parlor within our house yard. She’s even a secretary of the first Bulacan organization/foundation formed by Ricky Reyes (ATTACH LINK) way back in the 80’s. Perhaps, that’s the reason why I have a heart for persons like them.

Tao rin silang mga bakla… duon sila masaya, minsan nagpapapakagaga kapag ginagastusan ang mga lalake nila pero marangal silang nagtatrabaho para mabuhay (trans. Gay people are humans too… they are happy at their sexuality though they might be considered stupid when they waste their money to their so-called boyfriends but they work their ass off to live) ––These are the very words my mom told me describing these “parlor” gay way back then.

I may not have a parlor gay friend now, but my gay friends belong in different work community. Compared before, the community is SUPPOSEDLY MUCH OPEN to gay people. I highly respect these gay people specially those in our creative industry –– media, advertising, marketing and the like. They’re quick thinkers and are very creative… and VOCAL. Their laughter might me loud and earth-shattering but they do cry (literally and figuratively speaking) when they get hurt.

Just yesterday, I am drinking with my VBF (Virtual Boy Friend)… he received an SMS from another gay friend that this Isagani Cruz wrote an article bashing homosexuals. I haven’t read the article yet but I am planning to once I get my hands on a copy of that article published in Inquirer, the suppose to be a no.1 broad sheet in the country that is fearless of our government…

I will reserve my comment on the article up until I read it myself. But knowing my VBF, he won’t make it such a big deal if this OLD writer didn’t write offensively.

Again, homosexuality may be a choice to some people. Some claim it’s genetics, some said it’s exposure and peers. To me, I don’t fucking care where it came from, whether it’s a virus spreading or an epidemic. These homosexuals are living their lives the way they believe how it should be lived! They are not hoodlums nor thieves. They are not leeches sucking someone’s blood. Excuse me… the politicians we know are the blood suckers to be considered––sucking the project funds that supposedly for their community!

Working homosexuals that are registered are dutiful and PAY THEIR TAXES!!!

My heart breaks when such people… politicians and writers condemn homosexuals. Good thing I don’t own a gun or I’m a secret assassin.

I’m just wondering… with all the writings, comic strips, and debates in regards to homosexuality… what solutions are they proposing to the society? I do hope their not imposing these gay men to marry women to hide their TRUE sexuality?!!! Fuck those politicians or professors with such ideology.

There are other problems in the community to be busy with… water drainage, road works, tax evasion, environmental problems, etc. I wonder how those closet GAY politicians are doing when their butts are being grilled… bwahahaha!

To all my gay friends, gay readers of my blog, fag hags and the like… live your life the way you believe it should be lived! The hell with them. For all we know they might be envious of your happier life than what they are having… specially if they are closet ;)

And to those attacking homosexuals, before you point your finger at gay people check how many more fingers are pointed back at you?! Check if you are really that clean before you scream how dirty others are.

Just my two cents…

How far shall you sell your soul? (Part 1)

Chained has different connotations...






It may be forced or voluntary.

Forced in the sense that they have no other choice. But on the voluntary part, you can say you "sold" your self because you believe on that something that you are to give almost everything for that person or belief.

That tiny spark of light that never died down despite the storms you go through.

Professionally, I could say perhaps I gave all of myself. I am open to other possibilities of skills and new learning. I am not the greatest among the designers nor among the brand consultants. But I am one hell of a dedicated person one can ever meet. Lots that I know now was never ever taught in college. I am grateful of where I am and what I am now.

Bad things arrive, tests happen.

What can't kill you, makes you stronger.

That's what they say...

Should that be taken literally? But hearing the news awhile ago that "another" group was accredited by our client. That concluded my day –– ruined!

My partner comment one of my blogs here that I should not get affected or be emotion with our jobs. I am trying will ALL the requirements. Swallow it whole? I don't know.

I received warnings of this "event". Relayed to our team. Thought it was timely, but it was too late... I think.

I lost my energy, really. I am now in between pushing it further or be a slacker tonight. I lost the energy. I've turned down the ignition to drive. And I hope this is temporary.

Like what I said to my boss-colleague before all this silence started...

Let the war begin!

Life Is What WE Make It

I made a choice –– that one is clear enough.

I was quiet for a couple of months. Busy with work, work and a few personal tasks which is still work. The computer I use is just a couple of feet away from my bed (literally)! Work is perhaps my life now. I always use it as an excuse of why I can’t have any “other” life besides it.

I lack time. I’ve got to have time… but I don’t MAKE time for anything else.

I miss blogging. I could have used this to rant and to rave… but if I may have some spare time, I’d rather use it to sleep or drink.

I am not that alcoholic (to make things straights). For the record, I don’t drink in a bar or even alone. I find that too depressing. I may have depression modes but not to that extent. If I have my very own place, I will definitely be watching a movie over a light dinner or light beer or even wine –– with my lovable golden retriever I might be naming Sam beside me. Simple life… simple single life.

The “drinking plan” never occurred, only yesterday with my VBF (Virtual Boy Friend). I dragged his ass off his masteral class, made him cancel his scheduled meeting with his old college buddy (who was celebrating his birthday in advance). My VBF just loves me perhaps more than any man I’d ever had or will ever had. But we can’t really be together romantically. I’m a fag hag… and he’s gay! (with a boyfriend)

I am happy that the drinking and eating spree happened last Saturday. Thank God we went to Eastwood. Timing perhaps was good if only I am not carrying my laundry and suppose to go home in my mom's province. Bamboo (one of my favorite Filipino alternative band) is playing for FREE that day. I’ll be missing the cute vocalist and their lead guitarist performing. But it’s ok, a couple of cold San Mig light and calamares is not that bad.

For months, I was able to get (and do) what I WANTED.

Now who says, money DOESN’T make the world go round? Hello?!? Reality check please…

I don’t have my own car… hence I don’t drive.
I have 2 bags with me (and one carrying Taynee, my 12” Albook).
I have a couple of drinks… so how did I manage to get home from Eastwood to my province (that is perhaps more than 1000 km, a 1-2hrs drive with traffic)?
I commuted… not taxi, not FX but BUS… PUBLIC bus.

I’ve been a commuter for half my lifetime. Been away from home most of my life. Trained at an early age to be away from my family and live with someone else’s or rent (solo or with a friend). Consider me an independent creature perhaps. But there are times I miss my deadlines in paying my debts like credit cards, phone bill and a little contribution to my parents daily expenses at home. For some miracle, I manage to survive every single f***ing day of my life. Barely saving money for the “raining days” so I pray that God would not permit a major event that I had to sell my soul to his fallen angel, Lucifer.

So what’s the point of all this I am saying? We might complain on things happening in each of our lives. We carrying our own burdens. We rant. We go into depressions and lose self-esteem. We might even just breakdown and burst into tears (that just happened to me a few days ago). All the “what if’s” are sudden running in our heads. STOP, my dear friends (and readers, if there are any)! Think of where you are now and what (or who) made you into who you are now? Who placed you to where you are now?

Answer: Y-O-U!

Pause for awhile. Place yourself away from what is making you feel frustrated, or made you questioned yourself… you made a choice before to place you where you are now. You believed on something that made you decide and made THAT choice. Review and recall… stick to it if you still believe or fate at it. If you don’t, even just a tiny spec of fate at it, why bother stay?

Look at yourself… you are able to read this via net, via computer… I’m quite sure you have a job and can afford. Dear, you are STILL lucky! I see people who really less fortunate than we are. They struggle more than we do. We are lucky… yes, we ARE!

Think for a moment… if you are unhappy, unsatisfied… perhaps you are doing something you don’t want to do. Forced or not, why are you doing that? Let’s not blame others to our misfortunes. There are factors affecting and making us to that but we decide for ourselves, right?

REMINDER: We make the choice(s) for ourselves… as individuals. And I admit, I myself KEEP on forgetting that! I made a choice. For how long can I keep it up if you ask? As long as I could.