A Candidate He Would Have Been

Could there be a song like “Sana Dalawa Ang Puso Ko” and “Isang Linggong Pag-ibig”, but for those naman na na-fall in love agad?

Is it possible to fall in love on someone or something for just isang araw?

Hmmm…

Wala lang... It just came to my thought na baka nga may song for those in such scenario.

I did fell in love with this nice guy from our client’s office. He's not gwapo but he seemed masipag and responsible. You know naman with my age now, I need someone that is really presentable to my Mommy. Well, up to now, hindi pa rin ako sigurado kung love nga ba ‘yun o I need to change my glasses na. Whatever that is, wala rin naman akong napala. Kahit first base man lang I didn't make it. Whatever that means. He was just there in a not so right time. Siguro I made convince myself na siya na nga. Thinking that we are of the same situation, (almost) the same principles, almost the same birthday and pareho kaming mahilig sa mga kids! But here I am still getting hurt or affected pa rin kapag I get to hear that he ask this girl out, or harap-harapan siyang nakikipag-flirt-tan sa ibang babae samantalang I'm just sitting there in his back seat. Oh, and for the record that he's doing that, alam n'ya that I kinda like him.

I perhaps created a fictional world for me to enjoy. I convinced myself that I am masaya around this guy being my knight in shining armor and me as the princess in distress, na nakakulong in the tower. At ngayon that the tower starts to make guho na or better yet, I discovered na it has no lock after all. I pretty much can just open the door and go down the stairs! Well, it is me who should destroy what I built, right?

It’s no fairy tale, nor a happy ending... as always.

Maglumandi s’ya kung kanino. I lived a life that is quite peaceful before i got to know him, why not ngayon di ba?

Bitter Ocampo, me?! Sabi sa akin ng friends ko. Bitter na kung bitter. Napahiya ako e, disappointed. Ang plastic ko naman if I make smiles pa ako di ba? May mga moments pa rin na tanga at gaga pa rin ako sa kanya. Lalo na I make sungit moments din. Let me recover naman. As much as I wanted na sana it would be just one time vomiting na lang o parang I make fart na lang tapos wala na yung tummy ache ko, but it's not just like that e! Somehow may leftover pa ring maiiwan di ba? May konting natitira pa rin sa body system ko. Pero in due time, malilinis na rin. Sana there are medicines like Diatabs o Kremil-S na gamot para sa isang dignified recovery. (Hmmm... endorsement!?)

Kahit papano, I feel that I am recovering naman. Bumabawi na. Sabi nga it's fast naman daw ako mag-bounce back. Huh? Does that mean I am getting fat?!? Hahaha! Fine! Mataba na kung mataba, papayat din ako noh. Dr. Vicky Belo? Hellow? Anyway, balik sa first question: Is is possible to fall in love in the most shortest time? Kababawan di ba? Pero siguro, I just admire him lang talaga. Oo nga, I used this poor kid perhaps to get over that man in the other office. I used him in the sense that I didn’t hurt anyone naman… bad ‘yun! ‘Yoko makarma noh. Door to door na daw today and next day delivery na kaya ang karma! Scary!

Nakakatuwa lang. He helps me in a way na maka-recover or ma-divert ang mind ko. But it's not really possible nga! Why?

1.) Di ko naman talaga siya type. Way out of the Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal at Collin Farrel ideology ko. Don't make kontra na, pangarap nga eh. It's free. Di ko kayo pinakikialaman ha?!

2.) I am old. Really OLD. And just the other day, I helped him out pa yata to realize na ang bata pa pala n’ya. Wow. Like I'm his mother? I never dream of being a cradle snatcher, nor be in a May-December affair. Uso na nga daw ‘yun, but then again, ayaw ko nang sumasabay sa mga uso. EVER.

3.) May GF siya. It’s a big deal for me. Although minsan may evilness making whisper to me with kasamaan na once in my life, I’d be an official mistress or destroy a relationship. Kaya ko ba like 'yung song na "Lips of an angel"? Pero hindi ko talaga kaya. As in. Lalo kapag he makes diin pa na “mahal na mahal” n’ya 'yung girl, wish ko ako 'yung girl!

In fairness, bibigyan ko na lang ng award ‘yung batang ‘yun. I hope true nga lahat nung pinapakita n’ya. His girlfriend would have been very lucky. What more kung magiging wife na n’ya.

Timing was good siguro, in helping me get over the other one. But the scenario is quite bad, and the person? Lalo pa. Kataon lang, everyday I get to see him, seatmate ko pa, almost everyday we go home sabay. Pero hindi rin. Nah. Hindi ko kaya. Ako ang writer ng buhay ko. This is not a new chapter. Corny.

Nagkataon lang nga siguro.

If I may say this, it’s the wrong man, at a wrong place and definitely a wrong time.

And there’s no such thing as falling for a day or even fell for a day. Nagkataon lang... uulitin ko pa ulit... nagkataon lang. Pero kung pag-iisipan. Imbento lang e. Over analyzed.

As in OA.

Snapped back to reality, dear!

And besides, ayoko sa laging late.

Flared Up

Oh, yes.

I SNAPPED...

...in bold and all caps.

Why? Because of such brilliant people surrounding me! Pertaining to suppliers and anyone in relation to them.

Semi-snap incident no. 1:
Client called and talked to our AE. She relayed the message to me that our file can’t be opened by the client’s supplier?

WHAT? It’s already Adobe Illustrator 10 for Christ’s sakes. Nowadays, we use CS3… that version 13. They tell me they can’t open a file saved 2 versions lower?!? Then they “suggested” to convert the file in Corel. Punyeta! Who uses such program now. It’s soooo centuries ago. My boss-friend almost snapped too. Then our AE came back to me, the CD where the file was saved (it’s them who saved it, since we submitted the final artwork (FA) via email because they were in a such “hurry”) has scratches! Wow! Such brilliance. We get to be blamed for their carelessness and stupidity!

I pray that if stupidity is a disease, it isn’t contagious!

Major snap incident no. 2:
It's 4:00 PM on a Friday. They call up to tell me to adjust our file because the so-called red in the file is intense and can't be adjusted.

What red? It's a pink background for crying out loud! And it's a subdued pink. How am I suppose to tone down the red there when I can't see any fucking red in the file.

ARGH.

That was the end of my patience… for the week. I made a decision to shut off my mobile phone. Call all they want, I wouldn’t care. My boss-friend might take over my duties or worse get mad at me but, I’m sorry. This time I have to set some footings.

Weekends are sacred. It’s my weekend. MY weekend alone.

Client Quotes

Nakakalokah naman at parang roller coaster nga ang life namin. Namin, as in ng mga teammates ko. Mas exciting pa nga if we ride na lang the real roller coaster than what this really “nice” client of ours is doing to us.

I won’t name names… I understand my boss why he can not make withdrawal the team pa from the client pero we are now making handa na if ever that day happens. Well, we are handa na naman specially me but it’s just that… hay… I am pagod na rin at wala ng gana. Sana in eating din I don’t have gana but the stress is making me eat a lot pa. Kainis rin!

Anyway, bago pa ma-lost ang thoughts ko, let me share na lang some of the quotes nila na minsan nakakatuwa. Nakakatuwa na silang patayin pero we make pigil na lang ourselves dahil it’s not worth it. Like my hands will be bahid with blood… their blood pa na malansa! Eiw!

So, here’s some of their quotes or the sense of what they are making sabi or requesting to us:

• “… cute but edgy”

Ok, I know cuteness and being edgy but making them sama… it’s like asking me to date Robin Padilla and Alvin Patrimonio na sabay! It’s 2 different worlds… I know I might be OA at times but I am not schizo as far as I know, ha?

• “It’s good/nice na BUT...”

As far as I know I made sunod na on what they said in the first meeting. When they said na, it’s a sign na we’ll still be seeing each other again in the same lugar and time for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th… at swerte ako if till 5th revision lang. It’s an implication that s/he wanted to make lagay some “legacy” on that project we are working at. The last say on everything.

• “Can we move the photo farther left? Here, I made a layout in Powerpoint…”

Micromanagement is that you making hinga on my neck? Here’s the mouse na oh, you want to take it?

• “Logo is too plain. Why don’t we put a busy/fun/dynamic background…like there’s a movement”

Hello? Branding… dynamic? We are making gawa a tarp lang not a TV commercial… movement?!

• “Palitan n’yo na lang ang kulay… dagdagan n’yo na lang ng braso…”

If Dra. Vicky Belo can make me payat and puti… that’s easy but making magic is not always possible. Even God needs to get tadyang from Adam to make gawa Eve. Kailangan may source. San ako kukuha ng braso na ilalagay sa photo kung wala naman talagang arm yung shot!? My Gahd!

Sometimes it’s nakakatawa pa but when you have lots to do, ay! Hindi na s’ya cute. If not for the reputation of my team, perhaps at least nasabunutan ko na sila. But I know God is good naman and he makes pala those who are tortured and made parusa those who are making api to us. Karma is there. I just hope I can bare it before I made patol to them na.

Hay. I’m having breakouts na.

ARGH!

The EIW! Series No. 2

Some people are just born jerks. And part of that pool of people is your ex. Despite the fact that you used to love him and make tanggol of him, there will really come a time that you will be in despise and will tell yourself what’s with me and I used to be his girlfriend.

Scenario 1: He asks you out again saying, “just like the good old times”.

Teka lang, wait! Tulad ng dati? Has he not gotten over you? That’s flattering. But he dumps you and then asks you out again? Hmmm… Get over it and get away from me, jerk!


Scenario 2: He YMs you and gives his new number, even though you didn’t ask for it, and says, “eto na, kahit di mo hingin para tawagan mo ako” (translation: here it is even though you didn’t ask for it, so you’d call me).

The nerve! Ikaw pang tatawag? Eh gago pala talaga yung ex mo eh! Girl… move, like ask na a lawyer to give that restraining order for thousands of miles away ang distance n’yo dapat.


Scenario 3: You quite see him often and he says, he’s just around the corner.

If you feel it’s quite odd to see him “around the corner”, girl, if your gut feeling tells you sinusundan-sundan ka nya, then he IS a stalker! May be you need to have a new boyfriend na or hire a bodyguard. Pero since wala ka ring budget unlike Ruffa Gutierrez na PNP Police pang bodyguards, perhaps start asking favor sa isang male friend for your protection. Choose a nice looking guy na rin, so at lest he can pose na rin as a pseudo-BF ;)


It may be flattering at a certain point when ex-es go back to you but most of the times it irritating, even scary. May it be obsession or plain annoyance, still it’s not nice. What can we do, we are simple irresistible creatures.

EIW! Series entry no. 2: The Bugging Ex

Threat With a Cause

I am really pissed with what most of the people in one of our client’s office has been doing to my team.

Pissed that I can make patay or make saksak to anyone of them if I see them right now. Specially the first lady.

But come to think of it, masisira ang nails ko and my hand will havee bahid with icky blood na baka berde paaah…

It’s like… kadiri!

That would have been my reaction if I would be writing each time I feel inis to our clients, each time they make some tanga judgements or revision calls… Or I could have written more emotional and more authentic Kris reactions if I have reacted right then and there…

But it’s been way behind… the rage and emotion that certain stupid people has been causing to me and most of my team.

The peak was just this day. I was suppose to have just a lazy Saturday when I got an early SMS from my team mate asking if I am awake and read an email from the first lady… well, if it’s from the first lady… it’s war AGAIN.

My friend-boss has been holding the biggest threat for weeks now. Just a few minutes ago, he released it to the “president”. A threat that neither sides will be of a winner. Both loses. But it would regain the morale of the team with all the risk on our backs again.

Now, we make hintay as to what the reaction of the president-big boss that we believe in from the very start. He could have been the President Marcos the lead the Philippine economy high but was dragged down by the people around him.

A brilliant and nice man… with a dream… and my boss-friend could be Ninoy Aquino, my "dad"… hopefully, minus the assassination plot of course.

The EIW! Series

I just thought, why not write something close to my heart and perhaps really funny or scary or whatever feeling may be associated with it. So, what is really near to me right now? Mga “kadiring” experiences!!!

Let me start with my very own experience kanina lang…

You know, I have been in denial of it for weeks now since baka I’m just confused or hallucinating but kanina, I can’t deny it anymore! Because instead na I may be kilig since I like this guy but hindi eh.

Before he said “hi” and then made beso...

He made kindat to me!


The beso nga was kinda malakas kasi I felt a little pain on my cheek. And he reacted as well. He said, “aray” also.

I wonder why I didn’t feel kilig about it? I like him pa naman pero… YUCK talaga eh! Pero what he really did is like...

EIW!

EIW! Series entry no. 1: The Wink

Alter Ego Is Brought Back To Life

May isang blog akong natuklasan na (finally) napapanahon ng ilabas ko at buhayin ang sleeping beauty kong persona. Matagal-tagal ko na rin siyang itinago at itinatwa. Maraming na ring nangyari na dapat nai-blog ko pero wala na, it's all down the drain na.

Dati, noong payat at bata-bata pa ako, may mangilang-ngilang nagsasabing kamukha ko daw siya at parehas daw kami magsalita o mag-comment. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko alam (o matanggap?) kung seryoso ba silang lahat o ginagago lang nila ako.

Ngayon, sabi ko, let's turn the tables... what if I use it in my advantage (paano man, di pa ako sure?). Ilabas na ang nagtatagong persona. In the language that I am really comfortable with, Tagalog... o minsan, Taglish (Tagalog+English). Paano ko mabubuhay ang personang ito sa pagsusulat? Hindi ko rin alam. Bahala na si Batman, o Batgirl... o si Kuya Boy Abunda (huh?) Let's see na lang if this would work and help me out as well.

So, anong aasahan n'yo sa page blog na ito? Tungkol pa rin sa buhay ko, ng ibang tao kung anu-ano pa na may kasamang panlalait, pang-ookray, may papuri rin naman at siguro, patawa minsan. Pero di ako talaga kumedyante eh. I may speak like her in this page blog also. Basta, surprise na lang. Kasi baka pati ako, masupresa rin.

Good luck sa ating lahat.

Sana hindi ako mahabla lang sa gagawin kong ito. Hindi ko rin ma-guarantee na kathang-isip lang ang mga lalabas dito o nangyari sa buhay ko. Pasensya na lang sa mga taong tatamaan kung magiging pasaway ako. Sabi nga, bato-bato sa langit ang tamaan ay... GUILTY!

Mga kapatid... Kristeta Punyeta is back from the dead!

Got Something New And Yet I'm STILL Blue

OK–– is such an overrated word.

Things are not quite great lately. Nothing seemed to be working on my own favor. I decided to turn thing around and went to satisfying myself materially...

SHOPPING!

Bought a new phone...

I wanted the RED one but it's overly expensive. It's NEW, syncs perfectly (finally, after configuring it for HOURS) and still I'm not yet that satisfied...

I know what's wrong... and I am denying it.

Deny...
DENY...
L-I-E!

It's getting worse...

F*ck!

Of Good Fortune?

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Hmmm... and I wish this WILL BE true...

Getting It Out of My System

I missed a lot of "good" things to blog. Most of the time I am unknowingly "inspired" with that stupid smile locked up on my face. I go out after work quite often lately with a few new people, a new group perhaps. My time is occupied with work that I am truly enjoying. I won't deny that I have episodes of rage and almost-breakdowns.

It all part of it.


Those five words up there is constantly reminded to me by my colleagues and friends. I am seen as generally extrovert and transparent. They just don't know that I am bothered also by other factors aside from work.

Work is my life. Unavoidably personal too. Work can be my facade. There are things better kept to myself, because it's way more personal. Personal that is inspirational and destructive at times.

Right now, I can not tell whether I am sad or frustrated, angry or stunned. I really don't know what it is I am feeling exactly. But I am definitely sure that I am not happy.

Emptiness seemed to engulf my system again. I am staring blankly at my notes and on my computer screen. I had my drink last night... hard drinks. I made it an excuse of me being non-functional. But it is just an excuse. I know my limit and I drink responsibly.

I am really lost of thoughts. Lost of words.

I feel bad of realizing that is quite obvious all along. Perhaps I kept on denying it from the start because I did like him. I enjoyed every moment we were together, drinking, chatting, smoking, ranting... I see myself from him and what I wanted myself to be. I thought there will be something for me from him. Akala ko... (I thought)

And indeed, all "akala" are wrong.

I am wrong again.

I feel bad of learning I am wrong.
I such a fool that I denied it from the start that it's all "akala".
I hate myself of having the same mistakes again and again.... and still... again.
I feel stupid... really... really... stupid.

If I told it straight to his face that I do like him, will I be strong enough or at least poised enough to accept his WORST reply?

Problem is I don't have the guts to say it.

I am bubbly. I am strong. That's how many sees it. But inside I cry and crumble... a lot.




Another crack in my fortress that I am building.

Half-half Situations (no.2)

Yesterday was my birthday.

Typical day, except that I did went to church after missing a couple of years ago doing so. And I have a meeting the whole day today.

The postponed Tuesday meeting supposedly, that’s to our madam president… politics, don’t ask!

My VBF told me that he knows it’s hard to make a happy day because I just came from a flu (which he tells me is psychosomatic due to stress and aging… wah? I love him for being so honest at times) so the day didn’t end without asking a few dear friends to join me for a couple of drinks…

But before that… we had to attend to our “work” first… though my mind is kind of “slipping” yesterday. Hehehe. Evil.

Still have a sore thumb from answering quite a few SMS Ü Makes this day really different. Plus a few hugs and kisses here and there from people who knew and just knew about it.

My office-housemates gave me a hearty feast… Ria cooked my now-favorite Stroganoff pasta, bought me my now-favorite Dulce de Leche ice cream and finally, after months of craving it, I get to buy that Sans Rival like Torte cake (which I can’t ever remember the name) from Aristocrat Bakeshop.

Thanks, Mommy Ria! Mmmmwwwuuuaaah!

And off to drink… despite the fact that I am taking antibiotics… I’ll just restart taking them! (Sorry, Nanay… won’t hurt if you don’t know… hehehe)

Went out with Myles, Rio (both my colleagues and friends) and a few new friends like Brian (who is celebrating his day today… Happy Birthday!) with Dianne and Cris.

They found me “quiet” lost night… hahaha! I am just savoring such time like that.

Happy lang ako… thought the day would end nothing lang. Well, it wasn’t nothing naman…

A few laughs… like never since Myles’ that giggly and happy since our college drinking spree. He was even teased by Brian that he should go out more often. Hehehe… we work like stallions (take note: not horses but STALLIONS!!!) chance like this comes… hmmm… rare?

A few chats…
Some smoked… cigarettes… hehehe… we’re clean :p

The night (and the eve of 26th) was almost perfect… well, too perfect until…

BAM!

Yup! Some people just know how to ruin someone’s day. My colleagues know…

Oh well… that’s life.

And yes, I am 29.

Half and Half

No, it’s not that milk or creamer that you use to add that extra taste on you coffee or an ingredient when you bake…

I wish it was as simple as those “ingredients”… at least it has some purpose.

Purpose… lately I have been questioning myself (and others, indirectly) what I am in terms of purpose.

Am I just that unfortunate that things are not working out well in my favor? Let me enumerate just some of my (mis)fortunes…

1.) The battery of my Powerbook gave up on me. Yes! Without any warning it just won’t charge! At this very time that I have quite some trouble in my finances. What a timing!

2.) My VBF and dear friend is leaving for just a break. He deserves it, I know!!! But a month may not sound long but for me IT IS. And USA is a far, far AWAY land ☹

3.) I feel useless… I have not contributed any brilliant nor any useful idea to my team, our client… and I aim to be a “servant” to the world? Wha…?

4.) Mood swings is occurring quite often. Extremities of emotions… Is it a pre-birthday syndrome that I noticed happening yearly since my 18th birthday?

5.) The “Yin-Yang” moment: I am very happy at one moment then I’ll realize it will be taken back by a bad news or a scene stealer or just feel down and sad afterwards. Wow! So nice…

6.) Stuck in a moment no.1: Wanting to go out to take a breather… you are to explode or just to avoid another angry outburst but you simply can’t –– because you don’t have enough money to “free” yourself temporarily.

7.) Stuck in a moment no.2: Immediate or long have been planned date or just meeting a friend… then BAM! Cancel it… bad weather, no cab… or much worse, due to work.

8.) Upgraded my OS… then iTunes will tell you that you’re iPod mini is “corrupted”? WHATTHA…?!

Those are just a few… had even a time I started questioning the higher “authority” up there. Is He testing me because I am not a solid advocate and don’t strictly practice His teachings?

Doubts were undeniably eating me up…

Rules…
Gut feelings…
Personal satisfactions…
Selfless actions…

Despite the misfortunes I can’t deny that somehow I was happy some way or another. I was denying its source due to fear that it will be taken away like those other “happiness”. There was some grin stuck on my face the past weeks. I can’t deny this guy did add up some “reason” for me to get up and hoped that the day would end if not perfect at least good enough.

Unknown to him, he cleared out most of those dark clouds forming in my head. I guess we reminded each other, joked about it and talked on who has a worst life and laughed it out over a few booze and meals. Until it has to be cut off…

It was too good to be true…

So much for being little Miss Honesty… thank you, destiny for making me an ass of my own self!

Do I always have to do some paying back every time I am happy or satisfied? When will it not be taken away? When will it be WHOLE? When will it be just for me, alone?


––––––––––
Image borrowed from Gettyimages.com

Battle-neck?

My… my… my…

Would they change their perception and treatment on me and my colleagues if we’re a registered agency?




Hmmm…

I wonder….

Still Sweet

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

And I was hoping to be bitter (sweet) DARK CHOCOLATE!

Argh.

Cold-blooded?

OH MY GOD!

Geek mode activated!

I saw this before... and I saw it again last night...

And they're back! Check it out... watch the video and see who or what I meant.


Video courtesy of razmy, extracted from youtube.com

Hahaha!

Yes! Call me a "comic/cartoon freak"... Hell! I won't care!

I LOVE these dudes... I won't f*cking deny that!

The reptiles ROCK!!!

My FATE this September

It has been my habit that every first day (or at least first week) of every month I check out what the stars has install for me. Thanks to my VBF who introduce to to this site.

Since June if I’m not mistaken, the astrologer is so consistent (and persistent) that this year will be my year specially in terms of love and relationship. Well… my heart skipped a beat I think when I first read about it… and the 2nd time… but on the 3rd time… Well, nothing’s been happening or just even changed! Sigh…

And now the “stars” tells me this…

…This means that while this month you may assume your love life has been blown to smithereens, what has occurred may be a blessing in disguise. When new love arrives, it will happen in a random, offhand way, at a time when you will be barely thinking about romance. If a meeting doesn't happen this month, you should encounter even better vibes for romance as you get closer to your birthday. Keep your chin up - all things happen for a reason.

→All for a reason… wow! As if no one says so…

The tensions will continue to build, however, until you reach the full moon lunar eclipse in Pisces on September 7. On this day, you will have a full moon eclipse in your fifth house of true love, and this eclipse will be operative plus or minus four days from this date. If you are single and not currently dating, there is a good chance you could meet someone at this time. This is possible because Uranus will be on a mission to radically change your lifestyle in a way you don't expect, so you could conceivably meet a new person.

→Well, the 7th is almost over, so we hang on for the “plus 4 days” part. But as for the dating part… gees… tell me how can that happen?!? How, how… HOW?!?

Your best nights for new love or to enjoy love you have now will be at month's end: September 23, 25, 26, and 29. You might like the events of September 7, but the aspects are so wild and volatile, it is impossible to know if you will be happy or desperately unhappyat that time.

→Now, specific (or call it suggestive) dates are mentioned but then again she tells you that she isn’t sure if it’s happy or not! Wha…?

Again, feelings will be raw and inflamed and liable to put one of your close romantic relationships at risk, but it's not clear if the alliance under your microscope will be a friendship or a romantic one. Be very careful with what you say and how you say it at this time.

→I don’t have that “romantic one” and now I’ll lose a friend?!? WTF?!

Again, in terms of creativity, September 7 is a total wild card. Big life events happen on eclipses, so you may be recording your big record on this day or having a major art opening of your work. Let things happen as they want to, dear Scorpio.

→Yeah! Recording? Art exhibit? I’m at work… and not just stuck in my room!!!

Early this month, Pluto, now being called the "dwarf planet" by scientists but still being recognized by astrologers as a key force in Scorpio's life, will turn direct orbit on September 4.

→Remind me! Overacting it may seem, but I am really affected by those “scientists” that demoted Pluto to being just a “dwarf”. Like what my VBF mentioned in his blog… is it like a beauty pageant when the winner is being stripped off her title! I wish Hades would appear by their foot and burn them to ashes by doing that… bwahahaha!!! How evil of me ;)

When Jupiter moves into Sagittarius in December, you will see a virtual cornucopia of cash open up for you, a trend that will only continue and grow from there into 2007.

→Honestly, I’d rather have this over the love thing, really. I definitely would LOVE this one to happen!

And lastly…

Finally, at month's end you may become involved in a charity event, and if you do, you would surprise yourself with the outstanding results you produce. Nothing an eclipse does is offhand or unusual. If you want to make a difference to others, this would be your chance. Take it and run with it!

→Making a mark is something for me. This made me stop for a moment and think. How can this me? After reading this part, two companies/organizations came about to me: UNICEF and CTW (Children’s Television Workshop).

I rant, complain and sound sarcastic, but I still kept on coming back to the site. I still read it, analyze it and wonder… can all these (or even just a few) really happen?

I wish…
I hope…
I dream…

…that this September would really be of MY month.

;D

Recoil?

Self-pity suddenly crawls and attacks you from the back…



Sigh

When you feel so fucking tired…
When you just wanted to pack-up and leave…
When you wanted to run into your room, slam the door behind you and be alone…
But you can’t… you just SIMPLY can’t!

At one point, you would just burst into sudden tears... but you have to pull it back.

Pull even those fucking tears back...

Now, tell me… what would you do?

Back to Regular Programming

Before the day make its mark, I have to greet myself…

Happy Anniversary to me!

I am officially a year in my current job as a “brand and design consultant”… and still holding on to it.

Let’s make a wish… *blows*





Yey!

ONE YEAR…

That’s it!

I lost my thoughts… geesh…




No one remembered…

Oh! There’s one… ME!

I am lost of words now… unimaginable!

Sleep… my peace.

Compromise

I always wanted to dwell on this such “meaningful” word –– compromise. Let’s start from what Mr. Encarta is saying:

com•pro•mise n

1. a settlement of a dispute in which two or more sides agree to accept less than they originally wanted ← considered to be better-than-nothing-at-all

2. something that somebody accepts because what was wanted is unattainable ← hard to accept but TRUE

3. exposure to danger or disgrace ← TSK! TSK! TSK!

Need I say more?

I say it’s like selling your soul to the devil –– well, almost. The judgment now is how well you “redeem” yourself when you’ve made your deal. Hmmm… interesting.

The term “better-than-nothing” is quite degrading in some way or another. I, myself have been in the disposition of “compromising” for certain reasons:

1. giving in to get the “order” you wanted… with somehow a gratification behind our heads that we are “in control” but actually it was beyond our duties or line of work. More of spreading your conquered territory by means of “goodwill”… almost giving a service for free para mabango ang pangalan


2. just to finish or end it, may it be a conversation, debate or a project… ”Sundin na lang para matapos na!” (trans. Do what they wanted so it’ll be done and over with!) On our line of work, at times, we have to do the compromising specially if the other party is quite hard-headed and narrow-minded. Thank God, for people (and clients!) that are unbiased and objective thinkers. You all God’s gifts to us!

*clasp-hands, saying* Thank you, thank you so much!


3. you get something out of it, if not immediate at least in the days to come. This may sound uncertain but think of it like when you place money in the bank to save, you expect an interest from it. This is almost like no. 1 but you expect a gain than a loss.

But for how long shall you hold the thought of compromising? The giving in to others will and against your principle?

1. as long as it will save my job and our company
2. until I can hold my sanity and my conscience won’t bother me
3. as far as money will talk

And that, folks, is why conceivably I saw these words inside that word compromise:
• Promise… of completion and fullfillment
• More… projects to come
• Core… of it all is earning
• Sore… is temporary when goal is attained
• Mime… acts it out, no talks no debates just works on it
• Some… accomplishments, some punishments
• Come… more projects
• Rope… to use when you can’t take it anymore (kidding!)
• Spine… backbone to all of this… to gain, to win, to obtain, to earn

…. just to name a few.

And I thought I'm a Grouch...

Perhaps because I LOOOOVEEE to eat (specially sweets!) that's why I am...

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

And the starting word... misunderstood... P-E-R-F-E-C-T!