Terribly Miserable

What is wrong in getting all the sleep you wanted? Been working my ass off the past weeks and here comes Holy Week –– my chance if not to get away at least sleep till my heart’s delight.

But no…

For heaven’s sake, wala na kayong magagawa kung ‘T*ng #@$ mataba ako!?! (There’s nothing you can do if I’m f*ck#@$ fat!?! I just wanted to sleep… that’s what I can afford to escape and get away even for awhile…

Can anyone let me be? Even for just a week or a couple of days? Damn…

Is it because I am not rich or financially stable that’s why I can’t have my own time nor my own life? Why don’t have a right to rant over something yet my mom has a right to do so? Why can’t she do that to my brother, and only to me?

Maghiwalay na nga kayo kung maghihiwalay Separate for all I care… and don’t make us your children the reason for staying together!!! Geesh! My brothers have their own lives… well, their married, for one. And good for them, generally speaking!

If I’m f*ck#@$ bitch from the start, I would have a much miserable life in their eyes… no degree, no job, no money, unmarried with a child. That is what I THINK is a person with no life. But I am not like that, right now. How come it is I who doesn’t have a life?

I want peace… peace in a sense that I control my life. Peace where they listen to me, respect me and shut their mouths because ranting won’t work. It has been like that since I was born, why bother complain? Peace… where one’s life and time has a meaning and is useful.

Why can’t just be a truce… whatever that means…

Well then, I’d just be what I should have been –– minus the love, loyalty, extra effort, initiative and passion. I’d be the insensitive, selfish, deaf and blind bitch… for real!

Sorry for those who’ve known me and liked me (somehow) for being the “nice” one. I won’t be like that anymore.